Pokemon Humongous Entertainment and Dr Seuss
by Julianne Q. Grey
Summary: A story I posted at the insistence of my brother. It's about random stuff, based off some of Dr. Seuss's books and other random things. Minor Contestshipping, Minor Pokeshipping, minor Ikarishipping. Note, makes very little sense.
1. Prolouge

**A/N:**First Pokemon story... it's supposed to be nonsense, my brother made me write it. I do not own Pokemon, Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama (a kids' game, owned by Humongous Entertainment), HUMMER, Green Eggs and Ham, the name Rumplestiltskin, and anything else recognizable. I own the characters Rose, Sara, John, and Don.

* * *

_Pokémon plays Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama_

One fine day in the middle of the night, two sleepy coordinators got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their Pokéballs and attacked the other…oh wait, that's the wrong story.

The real story begins one day in La Rousse City. Somehow, May, Misty, Dawn, Ash, Brock, Max, and Gary were all passing through. Drew lived there, so he was definitely there, too. Somehow, they all met up.

I, the author, asked, "Why are all the cities named after colors?"

"La Rousse is not a color," said Ash.

"Ash, you idiot!" screamed Misty. "La Rousse is French for 'the russet red one'"

At this charming city, there was a Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama game contest. Everybody except Drew, Gary, and Max were joining for fun. Drew and Gary were joining to shove it in the faces of their rivals that they won or beat them. Max didn't even sign up. He said it was too immature.

As all but Drew (who had already signed up) were doing so, the guy at the reception counter said, "Don't know why you're even signing up. This kid's won this thing for four years running, five counting this one."

At the actual competition, there were only three people there aside from the previously mentioned: Drew (obviously), a five-year-old girl by the name of Rose, and a fifteen-year-old girl by the name of Sara. The guy at the reception counter, Rumplestiltskin (AKA John), was also announcer.

"Hello everyone!" said John. "Welcome. Your computers are booted up and the game has been opened. Please type your name into the slot. They will appear on the board."

He was right. There was a board with three columns: the first one was "Name", the second one was "Level", and the last one was "Score". Drew's name popped up first, then Ash's, then Gary, May, Misty, Brock and Dawn followed. Somewhere in between, Rose and Sara were there.

John said, "On the count of three, press go and play away! One… Two… Three!"

The room went silent, save for the sound of popping balloons. After a half hour of playing, the results looked like this:

Drew 37 547040

Ash 35 510003

Rose 14 003412

Gary 30 276342

May 41 555555

Misty 28 261231 

Sara 32 276353

Brock 21 093458

Dawn 16 010003

After about an hour and a half since John said they could start, May finished. Since there was a rule about being able to talk once you were done and annoy people around you to make them lose, that's just what May did. Because this was La Rousse City, she talked in French, too, as a confusion tactic.

"Bonjour, Drew!" she exclaimed to Drew, sitting next to her. "Ça va?" (Translation: Hello, Drew! How are you?)

Drew was distracted, and he missed a bonus catch. His eye twitched, distracting him more. He needed these things if he wanted to win. He was also upset that May was the first person to finish. That was usually him! Unfortunately, _that _distracted him even more and then he missed five bonus items, which distracted him even more, and so on and so on. This wasn't Drew's day.

"Drew, le pant c'est bleu-verte et démodé! Le vest c'est violet, trés démodé, et un peu grand," said May. (Translation: Drew, your pants are blue-green and unstylish. Your jacket is purple, very unstylish, and a little big.) Drew twitched. He had no idea where May learned all this French. Not to mention she had called him unstylish (in French, nonetheless)! This caused Drew to miss some more things, and he even lost a life!

"Gary! Bonjour! Ça va?" asked May to Gary. (Translation: Gary! Hello! How are you?) Gary was on the last level, and finished just when May talked to him.

"Oui, ça va. Et toi?" responded Gary (which was where May had learned her French- she borrowed Gary's book). (Translation: Yes, I am good. And you?)

"Trés, trés, trés, trés, trés, trés, très bien, mai paz exactimo super!" replied May. (Translation: Very, very, very, very, very, very good, but not quite super!) "Drew c'est trés démodé." (Translation: Drew is very unstylish.)

"Oui, c'est démodé," said Gary. (Translation: Yes, it is unstylish.) Drew finished the game then.

"No démodé!" insisted Drew. "C'est trés á la mode!"(Translation: Not unstylish! It is very stylish!)

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Á la mode!"

"Á la mode!"

"Démodé!"

"Hah, you agree with me!"

"Oh, cheese doodles."

"Would you two shut up?" asked Misty, who had just finished.

Sara wondered out loud, "Are they always like this? Oh! I know, they've probably just had a lover's spat!

"We're not in love!" exclaimed both Drew and May. Gary looked down at his book. It said that démodé meant unstylish and á la mode meant stylish, but it said nothing about using them during an argument. (Actually, I've had an argument or two almost exactly like this.) Eventually, everybody finished the game. The eventual board looked like this (they all did better than I did, even the 5-year-old!):

Drew 120 999049

Ash 120 999909

Rose 120 753451

Gary 120 999049

May 120 999999 (1)

Misty 120 998996

Sara 120 996633

Brock 120 945123

Dawn 120 812398

"Congratulations, everyone!" exclaimed John. "You have all beaten the author at this game, who has a wimpy score of-"

That's quite enough, John, AKA _**RUMPLESTILTSKIN**_!

"You know I hate that name!" exclaimed John.

Yeah? Well, I don't like it when my score is proclaimed to the world! Rumplestiltskin muttered something incomprehensible about hating the fact he was an original character. He tore off his outfit (a red t-shirt and jeans) to reveal a flamingo-pink ballerina costume, complete with a tutu. He break-danced to my friend Don's poor rapping, which mostly involved stuff about gangsters and how annoying I am. Rumplestiltskin tore his ballerina tights, revealing his underpants…

"No!!! Don't tell them about my underpants!" screamed John.

…Which were…

"Please! Have mercy!"

Pink-

"Nooooooooo!"

-Fluffy-

"I promise I won't tell everyone your sore score!"

-And showed pictures of-

"I won't tell your score if you don't tell them what's on my underwear!"

Deal! John magically found himself out of the ballerina clothes, back into his normal clothes, and being referred to as John again.

He proceeded with the procession. I magically made trophies appear on a stand.

As he held up bronze, silver, and gold medals, he said, "Third place for finishing early goes to Drew!

"Second place for finishing early goes to Gary!

"First place for finishing early, complete with a certificate for one free meal at any restaurant in Hoenn, goes to May!

"Okay, folks! Those are the prizes for finishing early! Now onto the prizes for efficient level points!" exclaimed John, holding up more medals.

"Third place is a tie between Gary and Drew!

"Second Place goes to May!

"First place with a certificate for five meals in any restaurant in La Rousse goes to Ash, with a score of over 100000 points for each level!

"Okay, everybody, now it's time for…" said John, droning on. There wasn't a person who didn't win anything, which means everyone won something. Then John got on to something that the readers were actually _interested_ in.

"Hey!" exclaimed John. He picked up the three remaining trophies. "These are for best score! Third place, with a Make-Your-Own Ribbon ™ set, is a tie between Drew and Gary, congrats!

"Second place, with a bicycle, is Ash!

"And last but not least, with first place, the game ribbon, and a certificate to the local hatchery, May!"

Everybody cheered, and Misty shouted, "Remember that you still owe me a bicycle!", which made everybody laugh.

Said Brock, "Ash, I think you should obey Misty. After all, you don't want to be hit by that mallet…"

Dawn asked, "Will you tell me about Misty's mallet sometime? It sounds like a good story."

After the competition, May went to the local hatchery and got a Charmander. It was a cute baby. John didn't like his life as an announcer, so he quit and decided to go work in Johto Hummer with Mumble, who had the job before him. The owner of the contest was upset, though, because he needed to find another person for the job. It was the second announcer he lost to Hummer! On his days off, he works with me; so if I get writer's block, blame it on John! They all lived happily ever after (except for the contest owner, who still hasn't found an announcer) until the green eggs and ham incident.

The End.

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**A/N: **Please review, even if you're just saying that you liked or disliked part one.


	2. Chapter 1 Green Eggs and Ham

**A/N: Second installment. I do not own Pokemon, Happy Feet, Hummer, Thomas the Tank Engine, or anything else recognizable. I do, however, own the characters Mumble, Billy Bob Joe, and Esteban.**_  
_

* * *

_Pokemon Green Eggs and Ham_

_Based on the story by Dr. Seuss_

Once upon a very strange time, May of Petalburg and Drew of La Rousse decided to travel together, even though they were coordinator rivals of opposite genders and constantly at each other's throats. Drew and May really didn't get along. Drew was the rich kid who had a high arrogance rate, while May was the gym leader's daughter who was as sweet as pink pokeblock. Drew also hired people to dig holes in the ground where he sleeps while camping. This story begins on one of those camping nights (err… mornings).

"I AM MAY! MAY I AM! I AM MAY! MAY I AM!" sang May at approximately four-thirty in the morning whilst making green eggs and ham, thus waking Drew.

Drew, who was underground, asleep, stuck his green-haired head up from the ground, awakened, and exclaimed, "That May-I-am, that May-I-am, I do not like that May-I-am."

May responded, "Do you like green eggs and ham?"

"I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am," replied Drew. He then fell asleep because it's pretty darn hard to wake up at 4:30 AM and stay awake, without a very loud alarm-Starly nonetheless. When Drew woke up, at about six, it was from May dumping ice-cold water on him that still had a few big chunks of ice in it.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" exclaimed Drew. "COLLLLLLLLDDDDDDD!"

"Well, now you're awake," started May, "Would you like them here," and she jabbed her finger on a town on a map. "Or there?" She jabbed her finger at another town.

"I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere, I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am!" responded Drew. They walked a bit, and then came upon a Pikachu.

"I'm going to catch that Pikachu!" yelled May. "It's so CUTE!"

Drew said, "Good luck with that!"

"Go, Squirtle!" exclaimed May. At first glance of the Pikachu, Squirtle fainted. May sweatdropped.

"Okay, then. Go, Skitty!"

"Pikachu pi?" asked the Pikachu. (Translation: Huh? Was I supposed to be doing something?)

"Skitty, use Double Slap!"

"Skitty, skit-skit-skitty skit!" exclaimed the Skitty while attacking.

"Pi, pika pi!" said the Pikachu. (Translation: Ow, that hurt!) May threw a Pokéball at the Pikachu. It shook three times and then was caught.

"All right, I caught a Pikachu!" exclaimed May. After they started walking again, May let the Pikachu out of her Pokéball.

"Would you could you with a Pikachu?" May shook a pack of gum in Drew's face. "Would you like some gum to chew?"

"Would I what?" asked Drew.

"Eat green eggs and ham," said May, as if stating the obvious (which she probably was, but that's not the point).

"I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I do not want some gum to chew, I would not eat them here or there, I do not like them anywhere! I do not _like_ green eggs and ham, I do not like them, May-I-am," replied Drew. They then passed a Furret on a turret. The Furret attacked.

May said, "GO, Pikachu! Use thunderbolt on that Furret!"

"Piiiiikaaaaaaachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" exclaimed the Pikachu while attacking. May threw a Pokéball and caught it.

"All right, I caught a Furret!" exclaimed May. "Now, would you like them with a Furret? Would you like them on a turret?"

Drew said blandly, "I would not like them with a furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am."

May said disbelievingly, "That was dull."

"I know. Say, where are we anyway?"

"Johto Hummer."

"Huh?"

"And you call me dense! It's a car dealer."

"…"

"…"

"Is that legal?"

"Hey, if they let ten year olds travel alone, then they should let thirteen year olds drive."

"May, you're not thirteen."

"No, but _you_ are."

"Oh, cheese doodles. What have I gotten myself into? Anyway, I'm only twelve!"

"No, you forgot already? Your birthday was yesterday!"

"How did you know?"

"Your calendar said on yesterday's date 'Drew's Birthday. Don't forget again. Remember to change underpants. Love, Mom.'"

"…"

"…"

"Oh."

"We're heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!" yelled May, thus breaking the pattern on non-"he said…" "She said…" thing.

"Hello, welcome to Johto Hummer! How may I assist you?" asked the Hummer dealer, who happened to be an emperor penguin.

May simply replied, "I'd like to rent a Hummer, please."

The penguin, which was named Mumble (a surprisingly popular penguin name since the Happy Feet movie came out), responded, "Sure, as long as one of you is thirteen. Which Hummer do you want, an H1 for $20, an H2 for $15, an H3 for $10, or a new Boy Scout Hummer for $5?"

"He's thirteen, and since he's driving, I'll let him choose," said May chipper-ly.

"Eh. H3, I guess," said Drew coolly. Drew paid Mumble the $10.

"CONGRATULATONS! You are the 10th arrogant jerk to rent a Hummer with his female rival from this dealer! You win two train tickets!" exclaimed Mumble with the voice of a television show announcer. May and Drew just stared at him like this: 0.0

"Don't ask," said Mumble in his regular voice. "Before I got this awesome, $1 an hour job, I used to have this stupid $10 an hour job as a contest announcer."

Once they got out, May said to Drew, "Now, would you eat them in a car? Do you want a chocolate bar?"

"What are they again?" asked Drew.

"They're green eggs and ham. They are also getting cold," replied May.

"I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them May-I-am," said Drew in one breath. He added, "Besides, eggs taste horrible cold and it wouldn't be safe to eat while driving."

I guess Drew didn't know how completely unsafe it is to ramble to your female rival while driving; he drove straight up a tree-drill! 

May asked, "What's a tree-drill?"

"A tree-drill is a tree which is spirally like a drill and attracts Beedrills," I, the all-knowing author, responded. Just then, Beedrills started attacking the car.

"Would you like them in a tree-drill?" inquired May. "Would you like them with a Beedrill?"

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz drill" went the Beedrill. (Translation: Hey! You should not be about! You should not be here when our mother is out!)

"I would not like them in a tree-drill (if they even exist), I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I **do not** like green eggs and ham, I **do not** like them May-I-am!" exclaimed a very-out-of-breath Drew. The Beedrills shoved the car out of the tree, and it landed in front of the train station that they happened to have tickets to.

Drew wondered, "How are we going to pay for the damage to the car?"

"Don' worry 'bout it, mah cuz's cool. He ain't gonna hound after y'all just fer a stupid cah," said another penguin with an obviously fake moustache, overalls, and a Southern-style accent with a bit of Cockney. "Mah name's Billy Bob Joe, the Texan penguin!"

"Well, Billy Bob Joe, could you get us on this train?" asked May, waving the train tickets in front of his err… beak.

"Shu-ah thang, liddle miz. Rahght this way, dat train's name's Thomas da Tan' an' he ain't never bit anyone, so's all 'board," said Billy Bob Joe the penguin stationmaster.

"All a-boo-ard!" exclaimed the conductor in Argentinean. He was another emperor penguin with a fake moustache, only he had lime-green short shorts, a hat of the same color, and an electric pink t-shirt that read: Come to the dark side; we have cookies! In English, he said, "My name… iz Esteban!"

Once on the train, May asked Drew, "Would you eat them on a train?" She paused for a moment, looking at the vast plains they were passing, and then said, "Would you eat them on a plain?"

Drew said coolly (getting sort of mad at the end), "I would not eat them on a train, I would not eat them on a plain, I would not like them in a tree-drill, I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I **do not** like green eggs and ham, I **do not** _like_ them May-I-am!"

"Oh," said May. The train then entered a tunnel, and then stopped.

"Sorry, folks," said Esteban with an Argentinean accent. "We have to stop the train so we can light up the tunnel and not get up."

In the minute that the lights were off, May asked, "Say! In the dark! Would you could you in the DARK?" Then, noticing the park above the train, she added, "Would you could you near a park?"

As Thomas lighted the dark, Drew exclaimed, "I would not could not in the dark, I would not could not near a park, I would not eat them on a train, I would not eat them on a plain, I would not like them in a tree-drill, I would not like them with a Beedrill, I would not eat them in a car, I do not want a chocolate bar, I would not like them with a Furret, I would not like them on a turret, I would not eat them with a Pikachu, I would not like some gum to chew, I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I **DO NOT** like green eggs and ham, I **DO NOT** _like_ them May-I-am!"

So then, May noticed another train. She said to the train, "Hello James!"

"TEAM ROCKET??? WHERE???" yelled Max, whom happened to be on the same train.

"I'm not part of Team Rocket; I'm James the Red Engine," said the train. He added thoughtfully, "Besides, if I joined any team, it would be Team Magma. They're red like I am!"

Because the driver had been listening in on the conversation, he took a wrong turn (how is that even possible?) and ran off the track, into the water. Luckily, nobody was hurt because they could all swim and the water was only five feet deep. It was, however, enough to completely cover Drew's head and leave just the very tip of May's bandana sticking out.

Speaking magically, and waving the green eggs and ham in Drew's face, May inquired, "Would you eat them under water? Hey, is that your sister's daughter?"

"I would NOT eat them under water, that is NOT my sister's daughter, I would NOT could NOT in the dark, I would NOT could NOT near a park, I would NOT eat them on a train, I would NOT eat them on a plain, I would NOT like them in a tree-drill, I would NOT like them with a Beedrill, I would NOT eat them in a car, I do NOT want a chocolate bar, I would NOT like them with a Furret, I would NOT like them on a turret, I would NOT eat them with a Pikachu, I would NOT like some gum to chew, I would NOT like them here or there, I would NOT like them anywhere! I **DO NOT** like green eggs and ham, I **DO NOT**_like_ them May-I-am!" yelled Drew at the top of his lungs once they resurfaced.

"Please?" asked May.

"No!" said Drew.

"Please?"

"No!"  
"Please?"

"No!"

"Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Plea-"

"Okay, okay, but only one bite!"

May cheered, "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

After he tried the green eggs and ham, Drew said, "Yuck! What did you put in that thing anyway? It tasted like rubber and cheese doodles with moldy apple pie!"

"Well, I had eggs, ham, and some spinach-," said May, getting cut off by Drew.

"SPINACH?!?!? What are you trying to do, kill me? I'm allergic to spinach!" exclaimed Drew.

That night, Drew found out that she replaced the spinach with green food coloring. The next few mornings, Drew tried the weird-colored food from May, rather than the food after it had gone bad.

The End

Note: Drew would like to say: "I do not have a sister!"

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**A/N: Please continue reviewing.**


	3. Chapter 2 Roselia with the Bat

A/N: I'm updating. Thanx to Ikarishipping Fan for being my first and only reviewer. You don't need to have heard of either thing to enjoy the story!

* * *

**The Roselia with The Bat**

**A parody on the Cat in the Hat**

One day at the Petalburg Gym, where May and Max live, sometime after the green eggs and ham incident, Caroline (their mom) decided to go shopping all the way in La Rousse city. It was a thunderstorm, too.

They sat there and sat there with their pet Magikarp and didn't know what to do. All of a sudden it thundered, and on their doorstep appeared Drew and Roselia. Drew looked nothing like a coordinator; he might've had the flu.

"Achoo!" sneezed Drew and then he said, "No more green eggs and ham, or I'll be dead!"

So May dragged him in and gave him some spare clothes to change into that they just happened to have around while his just dripped over the fireplace. She also loaded him with enough blankets (one of them her brother's) to cover Shi Huangdi's army.

"Achoo!" Drew sneezed. "Please, oh, please don't make me eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them May-I-am!"

"Give me back my blankie!" screamed Max.

May said, "Okay!"

"Achoo!"

"Max, do you still want it back if Drew sneezed all over it?"

"Wash it first!"

"I don't want to touch Drew's mucus! It's germy!"

"Neither do I!"

"Shut up the both of you and open the washing machine lid! If both of you are to immature to do it, I'll toss it across the room!"

"Okay!" exclaimed Max as he went to do it.

"Why do we have a washing machine in our living room?" asked May.

"I dunno," said Max. Where was I again? Oh yeah. So May took out a pie she baked and gave it to Drew.

"You must eat the pie, it's good for you!" exclaimed May. Drew couldn't respond because he was stuffing his mouth with pie.

"What did you put in this? I _must_ have the recipe!" stated Drew when he finished eating.

"Well, you just take a pie pastry and fill it with lots and lots of spinach-less green eggs and ham!" yelled May. Drew stared at her.

"Golly gee wilikers, I'm not _that_ attractive, am I?" asked May.

"Say! I like green eggs and ham! I _do_ like them May-I-am, and I would eat them underwater, though that is not my sister's daughter, and I will eat them near a park, and I would like them in the dark, I would like them on a train, and I would eat them on a plain, I would eat them on a tree-drill, I would like them with a Beedrill, I will eat them in a car, I still do not want a chocolate bar, and I will eat them with a Furret, and I will eat them on a turret, I would so like them with a Pikachu, I still do not want some gum to chew, I will eat them here and there, Say! I will eat them anywhere! I so do like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, May-I-am!" exclaimed Drew.

"I like cheese," I said.

"I'm bored," said Max.

"Oh you can have fun while the sun isn't sunny, I know lots of good tricks," said the Roselia in Pokémon talk. "Those are fun and quite funny."

Also in Pokémon talk, the Magikarp said, "They should not be here, they should not be about, they should not be here while your mother is out!"

"Aw, come on!" said the Roselia. "I'll show you a trick with a little toy boat. Come to think, I also need a goat, a shoe that's blue, green eggs and ham, some gum to chew, a shower cap, some old, old cheese, and also a bag of frozen peas. I also need a ton of trash and maybe some potato hash, my feet are cold, my hand is hot as often as it's often not, I like to eat, please pass the meat and cheese is great. Oh no, I'm late!"

"Roselia," whined Drew. "We don't have anywhere to be late to!"

"Oh," said the Roselia. "Now for my first trick, it surely is quick, I'll balance this stuff, oh, it's not enough! I also want a kettle or two and that Magikarp bowl which contains water that's blue!"

Once balanced on the Roselia, the Magikarp said, "Put me down, put me down, I do not wish to fall! Put me down, put me down, this is not fun at all!"

All of a sudden, while up went the stack; the Roselia dropped it all really fast!

"Oh no, where's my bat!" exclaimed the rose. "Without it, I'll look fat! Is it here? Mark it with an X. Is it there? Mark it with a Y. Is it underneath the apple? Mark the apple HJI."

"Drew, if this is your Roselia, then you taught it all these tricks!" accused Max.

"Listen," said Drew. "I don't know where my Roselia learned all these things, or maybe this is just some sort of Pokémon instinct."

"Roselia, I think you put your bat down over there," said May, gesturing to the washing machine. Sure enough, the bat was right there on top of the washing machine.

"Oh," said the Roselia. The Roselia then took out a box. "Inside this box are Bud 1 and Dew 2. They all know exactly what to do!"

The pair of buds went around, practically wrecking the house. They flew a kite and Caroline's dress, oh wow, it was such a mess! They threw cake on the walls and cheese on the floor, mixed glass from windows with the door. It was a hectic time in the house so that all was stirring, even the blouse. The stockings that were hung on the chimney were re-soaked, and even the books by Gary Oak. It was terrible, terrible, and awful, too. May, Max, and Drew did not know what to do.

"I bet," said Max. "I bet with my net I can catch those Budews yet!"

"Okay," replied May. "If you need to, you can borrow my Charmander!"

"Thanks!" answered Max, taking Charmander's Pokéball. "I'll do my best!"

"Charmander! Char!" exclaimed the little Charmander.

"OH MY GOSH! I LIKE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. I started singing to the tune of "Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion "Eeeeeevrrrrrrrrreeeeee niiiiight in my dreams, I see cake, I eeeeeeeeat cake! That is how I bake cake from scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatch! Far across the cheeses and pies in betweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen us, you have come to show you can baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakeeee! Neeeeeeear, faaaaaaaar, where eeeeever cakes areeee, I will eat- and the pie will go on…"

My friend Kat stuck some tape on my mouth. She wanted me to shut up even more, so she tore the tape from my mouth and stuffed it with pie. I drooled. The drool was purple because it was blackberry pie. Yum, pie… (Insert more drools here)…

"J'adore le tarte!" I said. Going back to the main plot, Max took care of the Budews within the time frame of the past two paragraphs. I don't know how, he just suddenly reappeared in the living room with them in his net.

"Hey! What!" exclaimed Bud 1.

"Cheese," said Dew 2. "Mmmmmm…"

"My Roselia's a bad influence," moaned Drew. "Ughhhhhhhhh. Do you have any medicine?"

"Go Charmander!" exclaimed Max. They fainted with one command. "Here you go, Drew! Assuming that these Pokémon are yours, considering your Roselia recruited them!"

The Roselia suddenly pulled out two Pokéballs and commanded, "Budews, return!"

"That was the weirdest thing I saw in my life," said May.

"The weirdest thing I saw in my life was you," replied Drew wittingly. May got really; really mad at his comment and decided she would kill him later (not literally, of course).

"C'est trés bizarre," I stated.

"Bye!" shouted the Roselia, running out the door.

"Stupid Roselia," muttered Drew. Louder, he said, "I wonder if Roselia realized she ran off without her trainer…"

"Drewwwwww…" whined Max. "Your Roselia is a menace to living society and should be isolated and quarantined from all living organisms."

May whipped out a dictionary from her bag and defined, "Menace- a being that causes annoyance or poses as a threat. Isolated/quarantined- to be set apart."

Suddenly the Roselia burst in the door in a car that looked a little like Lightning McQueen. The car suddenly sprouted cleaning utensils and scrubbed the house. It had a mop, broom, dustpan, bucket, Rust-eze dispenser, and six extra hands, soap bottle, laundry detergent, book regenerator, and also some dishwashing detergent. Within sixteen and forty-seven seventy-fifths (16 47/75) seconds, it was completely clean. Drew got in the car and tossed May a red rose.

"Bye, Drew!" exclaimed May. They left.

Five minutes later, in the car with Drew and Roselia… 

"Say, Roselia, where did you get the money to buy this?" asked Drew.

"I borrowed some from Mumble in Johto HUMMER, why do you ask?" replied Roselia.

"You know I owe that guy a car, right?" questioned Drew.

"_Ka-chow!_" exclaimed the car.

The End

* * *

A/N: Review if you want to. 


	4. Chapter 3 SPY Fox in Dry Cereal

_Pokémon plays SPY Fox in Dry Cereal_

You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about! You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your…

"We interrupt this dance to bring you breaking news," Baser said on a TV that May was watching. "The author has once again started the story incorrectly. We are sorry for the inconvenience. The story will now continue as planned. That is all."

The author played the hokey-pokey on the piano. Once she finished the song, the whole dang nabbed cast, consisting of Ash, Brock, Dawn, Drew, Gary, Max, May, Misty, Paul, and I, met together in Fortree somehow. Misty was dragging Ash because he was asleep, stubborn, and wouldn't get up no matter how hard anyone tried. Dawn and Paul were arguing.

"I think Pachirisu are completely useless, if it were mine; I would have released it the same minute I caught it!" exclaimed Paul. "And your Piplup is so weak, it couldn't scratch my Chimchar!"

"Strength isn't everything!" retorted Dawn. "My Pokémon are cute, and that's what I need to win contests. They're definitely strong enough to win a contest, and that's what I do! I'm a coordinator!"

"For a coordinator, you're uncoordinated!" replied Paul. "You're so clumsy, you could probably injure yourself writing a note! If you're smart enough to write, that is."

"I am so smart enough to write!" screeched Dawn. "I can read, write, spell, coordinate, do math, conduct a science experiment, and I know some Greek mythology!"

"Arghhh!" I screamed. "There are better ways to settle this argument, like a Pokémon battle!"

"We already had one. I won," bragged Paul.

"Humph," said Dawn.

"I don't mean against each other," I said. "I meant both of you against me. Whoever's Pokémon is the last one standing wins. Two Pokémon each for you two, and four for me."

"Fine. Chimchar, out now!" demanded Paul.

Dawn twirled around and exclaimed, "Let's go, Piplup!"

"Hmm… Chimchar and Piplup, huh?" I asked. "Going for the classic fire and water combo, then? Okay, now let's go Drew and Azumarill!"

"Did somebody say my name?" asked Drew, who was chatting with May, Max, Gary, and Brock.

"No, I named my male Roselia in the Sapphire video game Drew, after you, of course," I giggled. "I also have another Roselia in the same game, which I named May. I left them in the Pokémon day care for five flippin' minutes, and when I come back, they've grown three levels and laid an egg!"

"Chimchar, use flame wheel on Azumarill!" commanded Paul.

"Piplup, use bubble beam on Azumarill!" exclaimed Dawn.

"Drew, use magical leaf on Piplup!" I exclaimed. "Azumarill, use waterfall on Chimchar!"

"Piplup pihhh!" exclaimed Piplup as it was hit by the attack. It nearly fainted and its HP was red. Chimchar was also greatly weakened by the attack.

"Chimchar, use ember on Drew!" exclaimed Paul. Accidentally, it used ember on Drew the person. His clothes lit on fire and he stopped, dropped, and rolled. Unfortunately, his shirt was burned to tatters and his pants had a hole burned in them, which showed his slightly scorched Roselia-printed underpants. Everybody laughed, and I fixed his clothes with my uber-cool author powers.

"Chimchar, I MEANT ON DREW THE POKéMON!!!" screamed Paul at Chimchar. "Now use ember on Drew the Roselia!"

"Piplup, use pound on Azumarill!" requested Dawn. Both Drews fainted. I sweatdropped.

"Go, May! Use absorb on Piplup!" I commanded, making Piplup faint. "Azumarill, use Aqua Tail on Chimchar!"

Chimchar fainted. Dawn sent out Buneary and Paul sent out Torterra.

"Buneary! Use Ice beam on May!" exclaimed Dawn. Buneary used ice beam on May the person. She was now frozen in a block of ice carbonite, the stuff that Han Solo was stuck in during the end of episode five and the beginning of episode six. Drew, of course made it his first priority to crack her out of it. He continued doing so for the remainder of the battle.

Dawn sweatdropped and said gently, "No, Buneary. Try it again, this time on May the Pokémon."

Dawn's Buneary used Ice beam and managed to make May the Roselia faint. I sweatdropped.

"Torterra, use Giga Drain on Azumarill!" yelled Paul. Azumarill almost fainted, but managed to get up.

"Go, Staraptor, use Aerial ace on Torterra!" I belted. "Azumarill, go out with a bang and use waterfall on Buneary!"

"Buneary, use dizzy punch on Azumarill!" exclaimed Dawn, thus making Azumarill faint.

"Torterra, use Frenzy plant on Staraptor!" commanded Paul. Unfortunately, it missed.

"Staraptor, let's use Aerial ace again!" I demanded. Torterra fainted because it has double-weakness to flying-type attacks. Dawn was left alone in this.

"Um, Buneary, use ice beam!" she requested. However, it missed. I took advantage of this.

"Staraptor, use Brave bird to make Buneary faint!" I exclaimed. It really did make Buneary faint. Drew failed at fixing the carbonite. Dawn burst out in tears. She stole Paul's jacket-thing and bawled into it like a handkerchief. Paul realized the only way to get his jacket-thing back was to comfort her, so that's what he did.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Ash. "Pancakes…"

Gary said, "Did you hear that there's a SPY Fox contest in La Rousse?"

"Of course," said Brock. "It's right in the handbook I have right here."

"Duh," I said. "I'm the one typing this thing up, remember?"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Ash. "Jango Fett…"

Jango Ketchum popped in suddenly and sprayed Ash with Awakening (the potion). Ash woke up.

"Why didn't I think of that?" asked Misty.

"May signed up for the contest," said Max. "And she got frozen."

"Well, that means you, Max, have to take the place of her," said Jango. The whole group dashed to La Rousse, with Drew and Jango lagging behind because carbonite blocks weigh over two hundred fifty pounds (250 lbs, 113 kilograms) including the weight of the person inside it.

When at last they reached La Rousse, they all signed up for the contest, which was being MC-ed by Joan and John. Both Joan and John tried to get May out of the carbonite, but they failed. Sara, Rei, Harley, and Esteban were also there. Esteban was wearing a Boba Fett costume, or at least what _would_ have been a Boba Fett costume… if Boba Fett wore lime green armor with pink highlights.

"Artoo-Detoo, Where Are You?  
We got some work to do now.  
Artoo-Detoo, Where Are You?  
We need some help from you now.  
Come on Artoo, I see you  
pretending you got a silver  
But you're not fooling me  
'cause I can see how you fix my ship.  
You know we got a Dark Lord to defeat  
So Artoo be ready for your act  
[Artoo Uh-uh, Uh-uh  
Don't hold back!  
And Artoo if you come through your going to have yourself an oil bath!  
That's a fact!  
Artoo-Detoo, where are you  
you're ready and you're willing  
if we can count on you  
Artoo, I know you'll fix my ship," sang Jango.

"Good song," said Joan. "Wanna hear mine?"

"Yes, please!" exclaimed Jango, John, and Max.

"Okay, I call it Everybody Bakes," said Joan. She sang to the tune of Nobody's Perfect by Hannah Montana, "Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days: 1, 2, 3, 4! Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days, Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about, Everybody gets that way, Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days, Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about, Everybody gets that way, Sometimes I'm using jam, I gotta make a plan, It might be crazy, I'll bake it anyway, The way to know to bake, I figure out a cake, I'm patching up the holes, But frosting overflows, If I'm not bakin' too well, Why be so hard on myself? Everyone bakes! Some are fakes! Again and again, 'Till I get it right, Everyone Bakes it! You live and you make it! And if I mess it up sometimes, Everyone Bakes! Sometimes I work a scheme, But then it flips on me; Doesn't turn out how I planned, Gets stuck in quicksand, The problem can be solved, Once I get involved, I try to be delicate, Then bake right into it,  
But my creations are good, (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) Sometimes just misunderstood, Everyone Bakes! Some are fakes! Again and again, 'Till I get it right, everyone bakes it! You live and you make it! And if I mess it up sometimes, Everyone Bakes! Some are fakes! I know in time I'll find a cake, everyone bakes!"

"That's long!" I exclaimed.

"You wrote it," accused Joan.

"True, true," I reasoned. "And it's only half over."

"It's contest time!" exclaimed John. We ran to the contest place.

"Get ready to start!" exclaimed Joan, clearly in a rush. They all scrambled to their computers and started the game.

"Go, go, go!" shrieked John. "We're under a time limit of three hours! GO, GO, GO!!!"

An hour later, Max finished the game because he is a huge fan of SPY Fox, has played all the SPY Fox games at least twenty times each, and even has matching SPY Fox screensaver and computer wallpaper. In honor of his sister, he said stuff in French to bother people.

"Drew, toi c'est démodé!" exclaimed Max. "Gary, toi c'est bon marche!" (Translation: Drew, you are unstylish. Gary, you are cheap.)

Drew was in the maze part of the game, and Max caused him to run off a dead end. Gary was ahead of that, so he wasn't affected much. Drew finished a half hour later. I was bored, so I put on the radio. It was playing Glamorous by Fergie, but the lyrics were mixed up. Drew and Max started break-dancing with Gary, who just finished. (The following lyrics are on the radio. Sung by YODA, ANAKIN, and OBI-WAN.) Max did the really cool spinning move.

YODA: If killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home! You say, if killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home!

ALL: J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S, We are J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! Have them code and lightsabers, those things mean everything! Tatooine and podracing, making do with Spartan things. I am on the TV screen, newspapers and magazines. I'm all clean, always pristine. I'm no king or a machine.

ANAKIN: I still married Padmé; She's the best I always say. I don't care, I'm still real, no matter how many Sith I kill. After the war and after the planning, I really wish I had a family, sippin' reminiscin' on the days when I went podracin'!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy!

I suddenly turned the radio off because the upcoming verses had a few curse words in it that aren't really curse words for us but are for Jedi (such as Sithspit and sai cha), but they were also words Jango would rather not hear.

When everyone was finished, which was two and a half hours later, Joan and John started announcing the winners. There were just two ribbons, the Slowpoke ribbon and the Speedy Shoes ribbon. The winners got medals.

"Third place for last person finished is Paul!" exclaimed Joan.

"Second place for last person finished is Dawn!" continued John.

"And first place for last person finished, with the Slowpoke Ribbon, is May, who didn't even start!" finished Joan.

John started again, "Third place for first person finished, with a weird-hair styler is Gary!"

"Second place for first person finished, with a sparkly green tutu and sparkly green ballet flats is Drew!" exclaimed Joan enthusiastically.

"Ugh, what a defective prize," said Drew pessimistically

"And first place, with a SPY Fox bedroom makeover and the Speedy Shoes Ribbon is Max!!!" completed John. Max was very, very, very happy. After the contest, Drew walked over to the carbonite that was May. He once again tried to take May out of it, but failed.

"Hey!" exclaimed Drew suddenly.

I said, "Hay is for horses."

"No! I meant that I found a decarbonization switch on the carbonite," said Drew, putting on a mask and flicking the switch. A green light flickered on and off the life system monitor screen. The case made a weird sound and the carbonite started to melt. Bright energy positively poured out the carbonite, and May's body fell forward on to the tiled floor.

Drew picked May up with ease and studied her a moment. She was wet, cold, and shaking all over.

He said, "Relax, you're free of the carbonite."

May opened her eyes and blindly reached for Drew's mask, which he realized he still had on. She missed, pulling his ear instead.

Drew winced and murmured, "You have hibernation sickness."

"I can't see," said May weakly. "Where am I?"

"Your sight will return in a couple of days. You're at the La Rousse game contest hall," answered Drew, gently moving May to a sitting position.

"Who are you?" asked May.

Removing the mask, Drew said, "Someone who loves you."

They kissed.

THE EN- 

"WAIT!!!!" exclaimed Gary. "The story isn't over yet!!!"

"Yeah," agreed Brock. "You haven't seen what was happening with Ash, Misty, Brock, and Dawn!"

Okay, Gary and Brock. With Ash and Misty, Ash decided to drag Misty to the closest fast food place, where they declared undying love for each other. They went into a closet afterwards, and stayed there for a whole thirty seconds! With Dawn and Paul…

Dawn asked, "How come I never get any romantic moments like that?"

"Too bad," said Paul. He kissed her on the cheek and walked away into the sunset wearing a SPY Fox tuxedo.

_The REAL End_


	5. Bonus: The Jedi Song lyrics

Jedi Sung by YODA, OBI-WAN, ANAKIN, and PADMé 

_Original song by Fergie_

YODA: If killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home! You say, if killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home!

ALL: J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S, We are J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! I'm a Jedi… Jedi, Jedi, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! Have them code and lightsabers, those things mean everything! Tatooine and podracing, making do with Spartan things. I am on the TV screen, newspapers and magazines. I'm all clean, always pristine. I'm no king or a machine.

ANAKIN: I still married Padmé; She's the best I always say. I don't care, I'm still real, no matter how many Sith I kill. After the war and after the planning, I really wish I had a family, sippin' reminiscin' on the days when I went podracin'!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! I'm a Jedi… Jedi, Jedi, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy!

PADMé: I'm full of Naboo wishes, romantic dreams, though you're a Jedi with all your Jedi things. The whole senate doesn't know what to do with us; I'm enough of a politician for the two of us!

YODA: Fetish, Obi-Wan has for cheese and pie! Bills, making he is, go to the sky!

ANAKIN: Our lifestyles aren't rich or famous; who the heck and Sithspit would ever get jealous? The temple's made all out of stone; the metal here's dry as bone…

YODA: If killed a Jedi you have, take your dark butt home!

ALL: J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S, We are J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! I'm a Jedi… Jedi, Jedi, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! I'm a Jedi… Jedi, Jedi, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy!

ANAKIN: I've got problems up to here, all these people in my ear, telling me these stupid things that I don't wanna hear…

YODA: Sai cha them all! In the library, books we've got, often there as often not! Often there as often not, yeah!

ANAKIN: It's lonely, really though. I remember yesterday, when I dreamt about the days when I wanted to be a Jedi, boy was I a dope!

OBI-WAN: Darn, it's been a long road and the industry is cold… I'm glad my master told me he let his apprentice know! I'm glad my master told me he let his apprentice know! I'm glad my master told me he let his apprentice know!


	6. Chapter 4 Roselia with the Bat Part 2

"Oh Susanna, don't you cry for meeeeeee! Well, I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee!" May screamed.

"I have one too!" I exclaimed. I sang to the tune of "This Is The Life" by Hannah Montana, "Take the cake, stir and shake that's what I got baking on! I throw my chair up in the air and though gravity's pulling it down…"

"Yeah, I love how it feels right now!" yelled Drew. May, Max, and I stared at him for seventeen and a half seconds before May and I picked up again.

"This is the pie!" sang May "Baking li-i-ght! And this is the cheese! It's all I need!"

I picked up, "You never know when you'll bake it, and I'm not gonna fake it, yeah, I'm still getting it ri-i-ight! This is the pie!"

Drew continued, "I'm baking in a whole new oven and cooking with a new crowd (crowd)! Breaking down the old four plates and getting new ones from the town, yeah…"

Han Solo from Star Wars said, "I think you should get back to the main plot now. By the way, you know Threepio and Artoo are Contestshippers too."

C-3PO and R2-D2 popped in and said, "You are in the wrong time stream continuum. We need to get back to our own time and galaxy. Goodbye."

"Wow, that was strange," commented Max as they disappeared as soon as they appeared.

"Say, did a smuggler and two droids pass through here?" asked Luke Skywalker, popping up as suddenly as C-3PO and R2-D2.

"Where have they gotten to?" questioned Leia Skywalker Organa Solo, also popping up from nowhere.

"I think they went back to their own time and galaxy," said Max.

"Thanks!" replied both twins, as they too disappeared.

The REAL Story 

It was snowing. It was heavily snowing. When the snow stopped, somebody needed to shovel it while Caroline went on another extended shopping trip to Lilycove, all the way on the other side of Hoenn for Christmas shopping and Norman worked at the Petalburg Gym.

Guess who ended up with the job?

"I hate shoveling snow," said Max.

"I like cheese," I said.

"How come you aren't helping?" asked May.

"I'm not really here," I stated. "And trust me, I'd love to be. It's summer where I am."

"Lucky…" muttered May. Today was not her day, first her Squirtle runs away to Tatooine and now she's stuck shoveling snow! Suddenly, a Roselia ran down the street with red beams of light all around her.

Her trainer tried one more time to return her and said, "Roselia, return!" (By the way, he failed.)

"Drew!" exclaimed May.

"I like cheese," I said.

"Achoo!" sneezed Drew. "I have a cold."

Said the Roselia, "The bread is new, and the cheese is old."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Max. "Not you again!"

"What's wrong with having Drew here?" asked May.

"There's nothing wrong with having _Drew_ here, it's his Roselia I'm talking about!" responded Max. He really didn't like the state the house was in previously, even if Roselia cleaned it up in the end. It was still a panicky mess, and Max knew that there would be another one. Unfortunately, while he was contemplating this, the Roselia walked into the house.

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!" Drew sneezed.

"Maybe we should go in," suggested May. "Achoo!"

When they went in, May dashed around the house with tons of blankets, enough to cover Sicily, Italy. Drew was being buried under those blankets, and May took out a quilt for herself. Max was looking around the house, studying the damage.

"That Roselia leaves chaos in her wake," sang Max. "I hope that when I'm up and grown, I'll flee from home, so I don't have to put up with this."

"We should go find Roselia," said May.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Drew, whom fell asleep under all those blankets. "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"CHEESE!" I shouted. In the time of five minutes, they found the Roselia… eating cake in the bathtub!

"Get out of there! Get out!" exclaimed May and Max.

"But I like eating cake in the tub," said the Roselia. "I will not come out." (Then Max pulled the plug.) "On second thought, maybe I will…"

"Oh my gosh!" screamed May. "There's a pink ring around the tub!"

"Ring-a-ring of rosy, a pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down!" I exclaimed. Then I lectured, "Ring around the rosy was a song used to describe the Black Death plague. It killed a third of Europe's population at the time in five years (or was it six?). The 'ring-a-ring of rosy' was used to describe the rosy ring that usually appeared on the armpits or the backs of knees. I believe they thought that posies were supposed to ward of the disease. The 'ashes, ashes' part is there because their skin usually turned gray and ashy. The last line is used to describe when the victim falls, shortly followed by death. This plague was so completely contagious because they did not have the medicine and health knowledge we have today. Also, the corpses of the dead victims were not removed until three or four days after death, sometimes longer."

I looked at my handiwork. Everybody was asleep. Sometimes, all it takes to prevent a fight from breaking out is a long lecture on the Black Death. I looked at my schedule of long lectures. Oh good, my favorite topic, Joan of Arc, is up next! Two hours later, everyone woke up, except for Drew.

Meanwhile, with Drew… 

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Drew. His face scrunched up as he muttered in his sleep, "Cheese… Black Death… May… Roses… See-Threepio… Artoo-Detoo… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

Back to the main plot… 

"Well, I'll just take this white Leia-replica dress and remove all the pink," said the Roselia.

Muttered Max, "I like the way you think."

"Well, now my dress has the pink on," said May.

"That's easy!" answered Roselia. "I'll just wipe of the dress on these white-color shoes!"

"But those shoes are dad's!" protested Max. "They cost ten bucks."

"Aw, shucks!" said the rose. "Oh, well! I know! I've just wiped off the shoes on this carpet-y floor!"

May exclaimed, "Now the carpet's a mess, what horrible luck!"

"That's easy, we'll just slap it on…" started the Roselia, dragging the carpet to the master bedroom. "The bed printed with ducks!"

"Now what do we do?" asked Max.

"Because we were once in the hall, I'll just slap it on the wall!" exclaimed Roselia.

"This will never work out," said May. "What happens to the wall? Will it ever be clean?"

The Roselia thought long and hard then replied, "I have beings in my bat that will throw it outside. Here, in my bat, I have little Bud A, and inside her bat, there is little Bud B, and inside her bat is little Bud C!"

The three Budews mopped the junk off the wall, poured it intro a bucket, shipped some cheese form Nantucket, and dumped it into a fan which spewed it outside onto the snow.

"Great, now what do we do with the pink snow?" asked Max. "We can't leave it there or our parents might suspect something!"

The rose replied, "Inside little Bud C's bat is little Bud D. In her bat, there is little Bud E. Inside _her_ bat are little Buds F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, and O. They will go outside and clean up the snow."

The Budews did nothing except make it worse; instead of one little spot, there were four large spots, then it grew to five even larger spots, and then one gigantic spot. Then Roselia decided it wasn't enough to just have 15 Budews working, so she summoned little Bud O to her.

Roselia declared, "Inside Bud O's hat is little Bud P, and inside his bat are Buds Q, R, S, T, U, and V. Inside Bud V's bat is Bud W. All will join to make twenty-three."

In about five minutes, the spot grew to cover the entire yard.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Max.

"What do we do?" May asked. The Roselia wordlessly called Bud W over to her.

"Inside little Bud W's bat is little Bud X. Inside his bat is little Bud Y. Inside Bud Y's bat is tiny Bud Z," said Roselia, gesturing to the space directly above Bud Y, who could easily fit on a nose hair. "Z is too small to see. He has a Voom, which can clean a messy room. It will make a big boom."

Bud Z activated his Voom, which sucked all the Buds into their respective bats, cleaned up the yard, and woke up a sweat-drenched Drew.

"What did I miss?" yawned Drew. "Roselia, return!"

The Roselia returned to her Pokéball, and Drew got up, put on his heavy winter clothes, walked to his car, and drove away.

"Huh?" asked May. She looked over to where Drew was previously sitting and found a rose. "Now, I wonder how that got here…"

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away: Tatooine, Outer Rim… 

"All hail the mighty Squirtle," said several Tatooine residents in Huttese. "May the water-bringing god bring more water!"

"This is the life!" exclaimed Squirtle in Pokémon speech. It was on a high hill with a thick white umbrella. Squirtle had made a moat with its water gun around the hill. Suddenly, R2-D2 and C-3PO appeared on the hill.

"You are in the wrong time frame continuum and in the incorrect galaxy," said C-3PO. "We need to go back to your own time and place."

"Beep, beep," agreed R2-D2. They suddenly disappeared. All the Tatooine residents started fighting over the moat water. C-3PO and R2-D2 were wanted droids with a reward of 15,000 units for capture.

**The End**


	7. Chapter 5 Roselia with the Bat Part 3

"Happy birthday, May!" exclaimed C-3PO at about six o'clock in the morning. He and R2-D2 were staying at her place in Petalburg because Squirtle was _very_ fond of them. May and Max's parents didn't mind, in fact, they rather enjoyed the presences of the two droids. C-3PO was a cleaning expert and R2-D2 was a great battle strategist, which helped both adults. 

"Good morning, See-Threepio!" chirped May. She sprung out of bed like a Pop-Tart™ springs out of a toaster. She quickly dressed in her normal outfit, the one that you see in all the games and on TV and such.

"Good morning, dear!" said Caroline cheerily. "I hope you and your friends can handle yourselves at your birthday party today while your father is at the gym and I am going to visit my aunt in Mossdeep City."

"Don't worry, Mom!" exclaimed May happily, munching on the previously mentioned Pop-Tart. "Don't worry, between the author and See-Threepio, I'm sure we'll be perfectly fine!"

"Do not worry, Mistress Caroline. I'm sure that I will be quite sufficient to watch over these children," said C-3PO. Oh, and I am not?

"Do not be offended Mistress…erm…"

Jules, you can call me Jules.

"…Mistress Jules. I only meant that you're younger than May and Drew…"

And the first surprise guest; don't forget about her!

"And the first surprise guest. You are also much younger than Ash, Misty, Brock, Gary, John, Mumble, Billy Bob Joe, Esteban, and Sara. So you see my point?"

Yes, C-3PO, I see your point. I sighed. What does an authoress have to do today to make others realize it is I controlling their actions, and if they are polite to me, I will try to make the partygoers behave?

"Sorry, Mistress Jules," said C-3PO. "I cannot remember that it is you who controls what we do."

Back to the main plot, C-3PO, R2-D2, John (my personal assistant), and I went around decorating the backyard with balloons, posters, banners, and crêpe paper. We also set up a large picnic table, covered with streamers and a tablecloth, as well as a smaller table in the corner for presents and a Piñata shaped like R2-D2. All of a sudden, John fell and sprained his wrist. Because of my author powers, he was okay, but he couldn't DJ for the occasion because I made him wear his bandaged arm in a sling to make sure. Unfortunately, there was nobody else willing the place of him except for me (which is _very _unfortunate, because I stink at singing and I can't drive to get John's special DJ machine).

"Oh no," moaned John. "Of all days to sprain my wrist, it had to be today!"

"Yes, John, I know I sing horribly," I replied. "You might get a break, though, if I can manage to find Baser somewhere…"

"Beep, beep be-bo beep," beeped R2-D2. (Translation: Hope is lost. We're doomed.) It was 11:00 AM when the first guests, Mumble, Billy Bob Joe, and Esteban arrived together.

"Howdy, y'all!" greeted Billy Bob Joe, wearing lavender short-shorts and a white t-shirt with six stains that read, "I Have One Stain On This Shirt With Every Birthday Party I've Been To".

"Bonjour, y'all!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Hello… zee sky… iz perple!" exclaimed Esteban with his Argentinean accent, wearing lime-green overalls, hot pink socks, a highlighter-yellow t-shirt that read in purple highlighter, "This Shirt Used To Be White Before I Got Bored And Went Highlighter-Crazy In Math Class", and Darth-Vader style purple shades.

"Good day, would you like to buy or rent a poorly-built, un-environmentally friendly, but still stylish Girl Scout Hummer?" asked Mumble, wearing a blue Hummer t-shirt, a pair of green Hummer shorts, Hummer sunglasses, a Hummer necklace, Hummer socks, and Hummer sneakers (he was also wearing Hummer underwear, but you can't see those). "They're just like most girls, less substance and more style."

"No thanks," I answered. "I'm a Girl Scout myself, and those cars are probably so awful, our troop would never sell them! Even if they are the cheapest cars on the market to receive at first, they'll drive your banking account and the oil wells dry with all the gas they take up! And you yourself said they were poorly built, which makes them accident prone!"

"I quite agree with you," said Mumble. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I picked it up.

"What?" I exclaimed into the phone. It was our Girl Scout Troop leader. "We're selling Hummers…? Why…? Wow, you must be really desperate to do that… okay… bye."

"Who waz that?" asked Esteban.

"It was our troop leader. It turns out, we're selling Hummers after all because we have very little troop funds," I muttered darkly. It was then the next set of guests arrived, consisting of Ash, Brock, Misty, and Gary (who all came from Kanto).

"Petalburg isn't a color!" exclaimed Ash triumphantly.

"Ash, you dolt! Of course Petalburg isn't a color!" screamed Misty. "All the towns in Hoenn are named after plants!"

"They are?" asked Ash stupidly.

"Of course they are!" yelled Misty. "True**bark**, **Petal**burg, **Lily**cove, **Moss**deep, and Little**root**!"

Brock shook his head and said, "Hello, we wish May a happy birthday, even if those two lovebirds are too busy arguing to do it."

"WE'RE NOT LOVEBIRDS!!!" exclaimed Ash and Misty at the same time at the top of their lungs.

Gary looked up from his book, turned to me, and stated, "Hubellubo, ubauthubor. Ubi ubam trubyubing ubout thubis nubew lubanguubage. Ubit ubis cuballubed Ububbubi Dububbubi. Ubi ubam jubust grubaspubing ubit ubat thube mubomubent." (Translation: Hello, author. I am trying out this new language. It is called Ubbi Dubbi. I am just grasping it at the moment.)

I merely replied, "Hubellubo tubo yubou, tuboo, Gubaruby! Ubit ubis nubice tubo knubow subomebuboduby whubo cuban ubactubuuballuby cubarruby ubon uban ubintubellubigubent cubonvubersubatiubon ubin Ububbubi Dububbubi. Hubave yubou crubossubed Ububbubi Dububbubi uband Frubench yubet? Bubonjubour!" (Translation: Hello to you, too, Gary! It is nice to know somebody who can actually carry on an intelligent conversation in Ubbi Dubbi. Have you crossed Ubbi Dubbi and French yet? Bonjour!)

Gary shouted uncharacteristically, "Ubat lubast! Ubanubothuber ZUbOoMuber! C'mubon uband ZUBOOM, ZUBOOM, ZUbOoMuba-ZUbOoM!" (Translation: At last! Another ZOOMer! C'mon and ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOMa-ZOOM!)

As the quartet left the room for the backyard, Sara and Rose from Pokémon Plays Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama came in, and following them were a bickering Dawn and Paul.

"Yeah? Well, butter is made from Miltank fat, not cheese!" exclaimed Paul.

"They're both made from Miltank milk!" screamed Dawn. "I bet my Piplup could fly, run, swim, _and_ video game circles around your Chimchar!"

"Yeah right!" retorted Paul angrily. "I bet that my Chimchar would only lose because of type disadvantage!"

"A strong Pokémon prevails even _with_ a type disadvantage!" yelled Dawn. "I challenge you to a battle!"

"Please, no," I groaned. "We already had one bickering couple in here, we don't need two. Besides, can't the battle wait until after the party? Where's the Ibuprofen when you need it?"

I shoved them to the backyard before they could comprehend what I meant. Drew and the two mystery guests appeared at the doorstep with a car that looked similar to Putt-Putt. May popped up behind me.

"Hi, Drew! Who are the people you have with you?" asked May.

Drew gestured to the girl on his left who wore exactly the same thing he did in the same colors, except that instead of pants, she wore a skirt and had the same hair style, only with two thin braids hanging out the back and said, "This is my twin sister Joan. Her real name is spelled J-E-H-A-N-N-E, but nobody can pronounce it except for her; not even our parents."

"It's pronounced Zhahn," stated Joan, shaking May's hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Drew gestured to the girl to his right who was wearing a purple sleeveless vest on top of a lavender collared shirt, round, Harry-Potter style glasses and a dark purple skirt and had her hair hanging loose and wavy, then said, "This is our little sister, Rei. Her real name is Reanne and everybody back at home can pronounce it. She's a little shy, though."

"Hi," said Rei. As they walked in, another person popped up.

"Harley!?" exclaimed May and I at the same time. "What are you doing here!?"

"Hello, hon!" exclaimed Harley shrilly. "When I heard it was your birthday today, May darlin', I just _had_ to come here, so I followed Drew!"

Rei suddenly popped up behind us and shrieked, "Oh my gosh, it's _the_ Harley! Harley, will you autograph my Cacturne's Pokéball? Harley! Could I wash your shoes? Oh Harley, I'm not worthy enough to be in your presence!" Then, she sighed and fainted.

Harley was seriously creeped out. He ran into the backyard.

Once he got there, he screamed, "Drew! Your sister's my fan girl and it's creeping me out!"

"So what?" replied Drew. "You creep me out, so it's only fair my sister creeps _you_ out."

Now, on the large table in the backyard there was cake, pie, Fruit Lightsabers, Jedi Knight Energy Pops, cookies, cheese, and crackers. There was also candy, Alien Ooze Soda, and Queen Amidala's Favorite Fruit Punch. The small table was overflowing with presents. I also saw the Piñata was up and that C-3PO and R2-D2 had set up a grill. Did I mention the entire party was Star Wars themed? There were Star Wars banners, Star Wars cakes, Star Wars tablecloths, Star Wars plates, and Star Wars napkins, Star Wars goodie bags, which contained Star Wars stickers, Star Wars candy, a Star Wars Yo-Yo, a miniature lightsaber and a bunch of other things. My personal favorite was the thumb wrestlers, shaped like Darth Vader and Obi-Wan battling. Because I am in charge of the whole thing, I made little medals that went for the following categories: Best Yoda Impression, Best Darth Vader Impression, Most Enthusiastic Dancer, Most Infectious Giggler, and Loudest Laugher.

So Ash began singing the tune to The Berenstain Bears, "**_SOMEWHERE DEEP IN BEAR COUNTRY_**_**  
**_**_LIVES THE BERENSTAIN BEAR FAMILY _**_**  
**_**_THEY'RE KIND OF FURRY AROUND THE TORSO_**_**  
**_**_THEY'RE A LOT LIKE PEOPLE, ONLY MORE SO_**_****_

**_THE BEAR FACT IS THAT_**_**  
**_**_THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME_**_**  
**_**_THE ONLY DIFFERENCE_**_**  
**_**_IS THEY LIVE IN A TREE_**_****_

**_THE BERENSTAIN BEARS_**_****_

**_WHEN THINGS GO WRONG AS THINGS MIGHT DO_**_**  
**_**_THE BERENSTAIN BEARS WILL FIND A WAY THROUGH_**_**  
**_**_MOMMA, POPPA ,SISTER AND BROTHER_**_**  
**_**_WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER_**_****_

**_THE BEAR FACT IS THAT _**_**  
**_**_THEY CAN BE SWEET AS HONEY_**_**  
**_**_SOMETIMES YOU'LL FIND_**_**  
**_**_THEY MIGHT BE JUST PLAIN FUNNY_**_****_

**_THE BERENSTAIN BEARS _**_**  
**_**_THE BERENSTAIN BEARS"_**

**That's QUITE ENOUGH ASH!!!!!!!!!!!! The party continued and everybody ate hot dogs, hamburgers, and Alien Face Pizzas. For dessert, everyone had cake, pie, and Yoda's Special Ice-Cream Sundaes. Before they ate the cake, May blew out all the candles and we sung Happy Birthday with me playing on violin. The notes were: D-D-E-D-G-F#--D-D-E-D-A-G--D-D-B-A-G-G-F-E--G-G-F-D-E-D. Afterwards, everybody danced to my poor singing and cheese songs with their hands over their ears. Baser did eventually get here, but he sung as badly as I did (or maybe even worse). Baser also got Caitlin to come, and she was the only half-decent singing anybody heard, but she was really bad too. Then it was time to open presents. May got an adorable Vulpix from Ash, an autographed cookbook entitled "Fifty Easy Meals On The Road by Brock Slate" from Brock, a Swablu from Max, a "Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama Platinum Edition" from Sara, a Pajama Sam game from Rose, a book on Ubbi Dubbi from Gary, a scrapbook from Dawn, and a birthday card that played music from Paul. She also got a fishing lure from Misty, a bound book containing all my stories with a CD from me, some cooking utensils from Joan, some train accessories for her train, Percy the Small Engine, from Rei, a first-aid kit and a sewing kit from John, and a Cacturne costume from Harley.**

"Uh… thanks for the costume?" asked May shakily, slightly afraid of it. In addition, May received real Jedi cloaks from C-3PO, from R2-D2, a Build Your Own Droid™, a conductor's outfit from Esteban, cowboy boots from Billy Bob Joe, and a Hummer (non-rental, $20) from Mumble. That meant only one person had to give a gift: Drew. He gave her a toy Putt-Putt and a bouquet of roses. Suddenly, Drew's Roselia popped out of its Pokéball.

"Happy birthday, May!" exclaimed Roselia. "Here is your gift; a replica version of my bat, complete with toy Budews!"

May thanked the Thorn POKéMON and then all the guests left. Before Drew did, he kissed May on the cheek.

The End 

**Bonus, the guest list:**

May , the birthday girl

Ash

Misty

Brock

Max

C-3PO

R2-D2

The author, Jules, me

Drew

Joan, OC, Drew's twin sister

Rei, OC, Drew's little sister

Sara, OC, part of "Pokémon plays…"

Rose, OC, see above

Gary

Dawn

John, OC, MC, DJ, announcer guy, works at Hummer/Humongous Entertainment Contests

Mumble, OC, penguin, see above

Billy Bob Joe, penguin stationmaster

Esteban, OC, penguin conductor, dark-side supporter

Harley, crashed the party


	8. Chapter 6 Pajama Sam Part 1

_Pokémon Plays Pajama Sam: No Need To Hide When It's Dark Outside_

May, May, skip to my May! May, May, skip to my May! May, May, skip to my May; skip to my May my darling! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Trapinch in the buttermilk, shoo, Trapinch, shoo! Skip to my- oh wait, that's the wrong story! Hang on, it's not even a story, it's a song!

The real song- I mean story- is back in La Rousse City, where the whole tale began. Everybody was passing through and they met up on purpose this time, because they had all telephoned each other last night and agreed to meet by the statue of Rayquaza. "Everybody" referred to Ash, Brock, Dawn, Drew, Gary, Max, May, Misty, and I.

"Lavaridge is not a plant, and neither are Sootopolis, Slateport, Dewford, Pacifidlog, Mauville, Verdanturf, Fallabor, Oldale, and Rustboro!" exclaimed Ash, very triumphantly. Misty was forced to agree, because none of the previously mentioned towns are plants.

"What have you all been doing?" asked Brock, determined to keep the peace.

"I've been going around, doing contests, competing in the Gym Challenge," answered May.

"You've been competing in the Gym Challenge? I doubt you have many badges, and I _know_ you don't have five ribbons!" exclaimed Drew.

"Oh yeah?!" screamed May. "Well, for your information, I have five badges and four ribbons, plus the Putt-Putt and Pep game ribbon makes five!"

"The game ribbons count to help you get into the Grand Festival?" asked Ash.

"They also count to help you get into the Farmers' Market Supreme," answered Brock. "They count as a Blue Ribbon in baking contests."

"There's a Pajama Sam contest here, like last time's Putt-Putt contest," I said absentmindedly. "I don't own it…"

"Pajama Sam is for little kids," said Max. "Spy Fox is much more sophisticated."

"You _are_ a little kid," pointed out May.

"I meant _littler_ kids!" exclaimed Max angrily.

"THE BERENSTAIN BEARS!!!" screamed Ash. The next morning, everybody except Drew, Max, and I signed up for it. Drew did not go because he already signed up, I did not go because I have to type what's going on, and Max did not go because he thought the game was too immature.

The same night, the group mentioned above (excluding Max) went to the game contest hall. All the games were programmed to be the same game, so nobody could claim it was unfair because they had a harder game. The locations: the mask was with the carrot, the lunchbox was with the well, and the flashlight was in the shack on the river near the waterfall. There were only three categories for this game: first person done, last person done, and completed in average time. To get a game ribbon, you have to score first in any category, so three people can get game ribbons.

There were a lot more people than average playing this game. Among some of the people playing were Paul, Rose, Joan, Rei, a kid called Jango Ketchum (Ash's third cousin twice removed) whom was also the builder of Percy the small engine, Billy Bob Joe, and Esteban. Jango was wearing clothes similar to those that Ash wore during the time he was first in Kanto. Billy Bob Joe was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts. The t-shirt read, "I am wearing this because the author ran out of ideas for my weird clothes." Esteban was wearing a Darth Vader costume.

"Ash…" said Esteban. "I… am… your… fazher!"

"Noooooooooooooooo!" wailed Ash.

Esteban switched back to his normal, Argentinean-accented voice and said, "I'm just joking, I'm not really your fazher. I said zhat to eemitate Darth Vader."

Ash heaved a sigh of relief. John was MC, and Mumble was assistant MC. The contest owner looked happy because he got two of his former workers to take the job. John looked like he was only there to support Joan because he traveled with her (and maybe developed a little crush), and Mumble looked like he was there to support Billy Bob Joe because he was his cousin, but they were there nonetheless. The pairing of Joan and John… favorite OC and author's assistant… Authorshipping! There, now I have a name for it.

"Even though it's sort of mean to tease your OCs about their crushes," I stated. "That doesn't stop Rei and Joan from teasing Drew about his crush on May."

"I DO _**NOT**_ HAVE A CRUSH ON MAY!!!" screamed Drew from the other end of the room. "Her green eggs and ham are fantastic, though."

Rei piped up, "Authorshipping and Contestshipping rule!"

I asked, "Did you know I originally intended to pair together Joan and Harley?"

"Eww!" exclaimed May, Joan, Rei, and I. The very thought of it made John's and Drew's blood boil.

"I like cheese," I said. I sang to the tune of "Who Said" by Hannah Montana, "I'm more than just- a crazy gi-i-rl. I like turn on the oven- and bake the cake! (Aw yeah!) Though some can make a fake- this girl just wants to bake! I'm individual; I'm not like anyone!"

Drew continued, "I can be a ba-a-ker, just like you see in all the co-o-okbo-o-oks! I can be as sweet as pie- or anything I wanna be! Who said, who said, I can't be baker man? I say, I say, that I know I can! Who said, who said, I won't be president? I say, I say, you ain't seen nothing yet! Oh pie! Pie!"

Gary carried on, "Go on and make some cake- ev'ry one has to bake- to lead their own charade: I DO IT MY WAY!!! Ca-a-ake! I can be soft and neat or messier than a pig! I can cure some me-e-eat, or gro-o-o-ow fifty hundred figs!"

We all burst out, "Who said, who said, I can't be baker man? I say, I say, that I know I can! Who said, who said, I'm not cheese-ified? I say, I say… There's no holding pie, staying eye-to-eye, 'cause you control the oven, so let them know your muffin! No limitations on imagination- imagine tha-a-t! Who said, who said…"

"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!!!" screamed Misty.

"Did she say pie-hole?" asked Drew

"Did she say _pie_-hole?" asked Gary

"Oh my gosh! You said _pie_-hole!" I exclaimed. I started singing with Drew and Gary doing the backups in parenthesis, "This is the pie (pie)! Baking li-i-ght (light, light)! And this is the cheese (cheese)! It's all I need (light, light)! You never know when you'll bake it…"

"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!!!" exclaimed Misty again.

"Get ready… get set…GO!!!" shouted John. All competitors slipped our headphones on and started on time. For interrupting our song, I made John wear the clothes of a gangster wannabe (Dom) and he danced to ballet music, more specifically from the _Nutcracker_. In a half-hour, May finished the game because had the same one at home and she knew how to win it. Similar rules applied to this contest, so she started belting out my cheese song, "I got Cheese", ripped-off Hannah Montana's "I Got Nerve". When she was done with that, she started singing the song at the top of this page, and when she was done with _that_, she read out loud from the cookbook Brock had given her for her birthday, and the little book I gave her, also for her birthday, but in the Ubbi Dubbi she learned from the book Gary gave her. When she was done doing that, Gary was finished and the carried on a conversation in French. I came up with the name WeirdBrownHairshipping for the pairing of May and Gary.

"How dare you call our hair weird!" yelled May and Gary.

"And how dare you insist they invent that pairing," added Gary. "Contestshipping is a_ much_ better pairing!"

Drew suddenly finished the game and tore his pants. Six people (excluding Gary and May) burst out laughing and got disqualified because you're not allowed to talk until you finish. Drew's underpants were funny. They were sparkly lavender and had sparkly pink roses, Beautifly, and Butterfree printed on them. May whipped out a sewing kit and sewed his pants back together. Unfortunately, she isn't that good at sewing, so she also sewed his pants to his underpants.

"Those are his lucky underpants!" exclaimed Rei, who had just finished. "Now he is able to not wear them or to wash them; they haven't been washed for a half year, and he hasn't changed out of them for two weeks!"

"Rei!" shouted Drew. "You weren't supposed to tell them that! And you washed them? How could you!?"

"Don't worry, Drew. You won't be left out for long," I said. Suddenly, John, who had changed from ballet dancing to belly dancing, tore _his_ pants, too. His underpants were hot pink, and they had Barbie-pink, fluffy, feminine, shiny, polyester, little underpants on them. The little underpants had baby Pokémon such as Happiny, Pichu, Igglybuff, Cleffa, Togepi, Mantyke, Tyrouge, and others, all of which were surrounded by hearts.

"Argh! You weren't supposed to tell them!" shouted John.

"Well, too bad!" I answered. "You made me seriously mad when you interrupted our song!"

"Well, I'll just fix it!" exclaimed May, while fixing it. She accidentally did the same thing to John's pants that she did to Drew's.

"Pie, pie, do you like the pie? Pie, I really like the pie! Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie! I can bake lots of pi-i-ies!" I sang to the tune of the Han-Han, which goes to the tune of the Can-Can.

"I can bake lots of pie," sang Baser (whom had just popped up out of nowhere) to the tune of Disney's A Whole New World. "Sweet, crispy, edible! Even though they are snow-cold but they still taste really good. I will open the oven- take you cheesecake by cheesecake, some of them are half-fake but they still can be food! A whole new cheese, a new fantastic non-stick mold, don't say the type of cake, or where to bake, or say we're only baking…"

"A whole new cheese," I sang. " A dazzling taste I never knew, but when I'm baking here, it's cellophane clear that I'm using a whole new cheese with you; using a whole new cheese with you!"

"SHUT UP!!!" screamed Misty, whom had just finished. To escape her wrath, Baser fled. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ALL THESE STUPID PIE, CHEESE, AND CAKE SONGS!!!"

"I agree!" exclaimed Caitlin. She put on a black t-shirt that said in red letters: Do not support the cheese, pie, and cake songs. "Let's band together!"

After they formed a band called "Cheese, Pie, and Cake are Stupid", everyone finished. Joan was the last one done. John started awarding awards.

"Third place for finishing last goes to Ash!" exclaimed John, holding up a little medal. "Second place for finishing last goes to Rose, and…"

Mumble declared, "First place for finishing last, with the slowpoke ribbon, is Joan!"

"Thank you!" yelled Joan. "To tell you the truth, I went a little slow on purpose. I've beat this game 74.5 times and I still can't beat the time of two hours!"

John started up again, holding up slightly larger medals, "Third place for Average Time is Misty!"

"Second place is Dawn!" said Mumble enthusiastically.

"And first place with the average ribbon is Brock!" finished John.

"Third place for finishing first, with a CD of Jules's stories, is Drew!" exclaimed Mumble, holding up the largest medals.

"Oh, joy," muttered Drew sarcastically.

"Did somebody say my name?" asked Nurse Joy. "I must be hearing things…"

"Second place for finishing first, with a barrel of cheese, is Gary!" said John, ignoring the interruption.

"Great, a barrel of cheese, what's next?" asked Gary, also sarcastically. "An oven?"

"We need a new plan," whispered the contest owner to me. "That was what I was going to give the winner!"

"Don't worry about it," I whispered back, using my author powers to change the oven into something else. "Leave it to me."

I walked over to Mumble and told him what to announce it as. It will work, because I am the author and whatever I say goes.

"First place for finishing first," started Mumble. "With an ice-cream maker, is May!!!"

When they left the building, Drew tossed another rose to May and kissed her lightly (on the lips this time). Joan and Rei cheered in the background, then all three siblings got in the car that looked like Putt-Putt and drove away.

Meanwhile, Ash and Misty were arguing, Dawn and Paul were finally having the battle mentioned at May's birthday party, and they all lived happily ever after.

Except for Brock because he couldn't find a girl who would date him and his books were never sold.

_The End_


End file.
